(A lesson I’ve learnt the hard way)
How many sleepless nights have you endured or pointless meetings attended in your search to find the right answer when confronted with a big decision with polar opposite choices?
Now I clearly don’t mean that age old pizza or pasta for dinner conundrum that seems to clog up many a social media timeline…I’m talking life changing, life defining, even survival choices we have to make in our lives.
They could be personal, home or business-related but the path you take will shape much more than your here and now…the right choice will help you drive forward or alternatively hold you back and determine your life, taking control in an entirely negative way with a destructive force affecting everything and everyone familiar to you.
But cut away all the intricacies of minutia relating to decisions – the challenges life keeps throwing at me prove there are only ever two choices: either you give up and give in to it or you decide you’re not going to allow that particular challenge to define you and you tackle it head on with honesty, bravery and steely determination.
I know. I’ve been there. Far too many times for my liking.
It’s a powerful lesson I was taught by a very close friend of mine many years ago, not long after my near death experience in the train crash.
Looking back, I knew I was struggling with alcohol issues but had buried them deep in my psyche and vowed not to discuss them with anyone.
But who was I kidding? I was in a right old mess however hard I tried to cover it up.
Matters came to a head when my dear friend asked the simplest of questions as I sat in his kitchen: ‘Glass of wine or cup of tea?’
It was midday. I hesitated. Then the tears started to flow uncontrollably.
I told him I was starting to lose the plot with it. He understood. He’d been there himself in the past.
But I also knew he’d overcome those particular demons so I was more than happy to listen to his wise words.
Admit to it and deal with it to get it back under control or give in to it and let it destroy your life – health, family, friends, the whole lot.
His message couldn’t have been starker…and it’s lived with me ever since.
On leaving his house, I drove home, hunted down every drop of drink in my cupboards and tipped it all down the sink.
From the moment I shut the bin on the last bottle, it was a whole two years before I could trust myself to have another drink and not let it control me. I was not prepared to sacrifice all the good things/people in my life so I chose to control IT instead.
And I’ve honestly never looked back, due entirely to the knowledge I acquired that day – and now share at every available opportunity – that even when you have unknown choices or multiple options to choose from, the basic decision comes down to one of two: confront or avoid; be in control or be controlled.
Think about some of the decisions you’re currently wrestling with at work…armed with this simple life hack, don’t they seem easier to resolve now?
Oh, and that life affirming dear friend of mine…it was Falklands War hero Simon Weston.
‘Admit to it and deal with it ’
